Q. All my little boy wants to do when he has a friend over is fight with him. I have told him that if he can’t play nicely with the other boy, that he can’t have his friend over. My son says they are not fighting, they are wrestling. What can I do?
A. What the little boys are doing is roughhousing, and they need to do it. Research indicates that little boys who roughhouse have better social skills than boys who do not engage in this form of play. This is how they learn the boundaries of how much is too much. One way to tell the difference between roughhousing and fighting is to look at their hands, if the hands are open it is roughhousing, if the hands are in fists that is fighting and they should stop. Provide a safe place for the little boys to roughhouse where there is some space and either a carpet or mat on the floor, but you will find that their favorite place is outside on the grass.